- by Jennifer Lewallen | Writing | 2ktwelve.com

View from the room with no windows - by Jennifer Lewallen

Sometimes I get the feeling that I am not insane. No matter how many times the 6-foot white rabbit appears. Maybe when I’m alone smoking and drinking my coffee in the evening hours, I’m truly not alone.
Sometimes I kinda feel like I’m not really alone. It’s more then how the sun sometimes appears to be just to bright or somehow different. Sometimes its as though I’m sharing my space, and how dare I be so dumb to not realize. Like I’m sleeping or in a place were I’m meant to be aware but for some reason I’m not. There are people surrounding me but I can’t see them I just sense them. On some level I feel my existence in this place, yet in it I don’t feel like me, I feel more real. Different veils put over my eye, that’s how it feels.

Sometimes I feel like I’m insane or its the fact that I am a stoner but I know there’s more then what my eyes see. I’m reading Robert Anton Wilson’s the cosmic trigger series and in it he writes about how people became unaware of their surroundings because they think they already "know" what is there. A reason to not pay much attention anymore. No matter how silly it sounds everyone has to admit they feel how restless everything is at this time.

The year 2012 always stood out in my mind for a while now. Everyday it is being put in front of my eyes. I want to understand certain things but I cant because I am not evolved enough. Like I am sitting on a level that is not entirely real, the negative of a picture. And there are things that are being overlooked or are hard to comprehend.

If the year 2012 is now, then what is stopping us from seeing? What’s keeping us on this negative level? What are the forces that keep us here, and the ones that want to move us along? What side if any, do you choose? If evil and good play a part. Does the path of an occultist or mystic hold more significance now then 600 years ago? Does anything like this matter or am I over thinking?

I ponder this and much more in my head everyday. I can’t be the one and only person in this world to of thought of these things at some moment in time. No matter how schizoid they seem.

I guess I have to find ways to make my reality more exciting so all these thoughts and theories seem to do the trick.

When I get really bored I like to amuse myself by thinking about those damn aliens.